Misconceptions of Nursing

What is it about non-nurses that make them think they know everything about MY profession. I know it probably happens to everyone at some point.  That guy who argues with the cops because he knows his rights, or the that picky customer at the butcher shop who knows exactly how to cut a steak.  "Really sir, you don't like T-bones but you love a NY strip?"

So, lets get into this.  This is for the friends, siblings, in-laws, and various others who seem to think that they know how to do your job. 

1. I don't care if you took A&P and can name all of the bones in the human body.  That is child's play. Try telling me the difference between Buck's traction, Bryant's traction, Dunlop's traction and Russell's traction!  How bout that smart-ass?
2. Oh you watch every episode of Nurse Jackie? Well, I learned to be a fighter pilot by watching Top Gun!
3. This is a little off track, but the next person that gives me that knowing look, that makes me want to fucking vomit, as the warn me about having to change poopy diapers in my newborn, I'm going to lose my shit! Really?!? Breast milk/Formula poop?  Try C-diff and GI Bleeds! Try a 400 lb man's diaper! Try changing a 96y/o combative Alzheimer's pt who is screaming "Rape!"  GTFOH!
4.  The next Dr I hear say that I don't know anything because I'm a nurse....  I'm going to show him that I know how to throw a punch! Who brings all of these little things to your attention? Who did the assessment that gave you all the information you needed for a Dx? This know-nothing Nurse did.
5. I heard a guy once tell me that he has his Med-aide certification, which is practically an LPN which is practically an RN.  Well, I played HS football, which is basically college football, which is basically the NFL.
6. Did you guys know that all you do as a Nurse is sit on your ass at the nurses station and play on the computer? 
7. Paramedics... I love you guys, but you are not Nurses. I've done your job, and I've done your job while under fire.  There are days when that was easier than Nursing.

Well, the wife has dinner ready and I'm running out of material.  Have you had any moments like these? Post a comment and share.

@MurseWisdom